Page 1 of 1

Waterloo Anniversary

Posted: Thu Jun 18, 2015 7:08 pm
by 27
Two hundred years after getting soundly hammered at Waterloo, the French are still bitching about it.

With reports that the French government attempted to block a new Euro coin commemorating the battle out of sulk, the fact that everyone else is celebrating the anniversary of their most potent defeat is making many French do their nut.

French newspapers are reporting the occasion and publishing histories of Napoleon whilst glossing over the uncomfortable fact he was comprehensively thrashed fair and square by the British.

“Waterloo wasn’t so much a defeat as a postponed victory for France”, said a Frenchman in deep, deep denial.

“If the Duke of Wellington ‘won’ it was because he cheated, so there.”

“I bet we’d’ve won if we’d had another go.”

“Tell you what – best two out of three. How about it?”

As a reenactment of the battle is set to take place, rumours are circulating that the French reenactors may be planning to try to reverse the actual, historic outcome to try and salvage some vestige of pride.

However, when asked, a burly Scotsman encountered leaning against the gates of the farm at Houguemont suggested they ‘bring it on.’ :lol: :lol: :lol:


Re: Waterloo Anniversary

Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2015 12:33 am
by Paul Keller
Mr Woods sir !
It's not often that we sing the praises of rain in this country, but at Waterloo, it played a massive part in forcing the short fat Frog from launching his main attack sooner then he did, in that the battlefield was to wet for his heavy cav.
Had the fields been dry that morning, the attack would have gone in on time, Blucher would have been late and Wellington would have got a snotting !
So yeah no cheating from us, just a massive f^^^ up from Boney !!!

Re: Waterloo Anniversary

Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2015 5:59 pm
by Phil(Quassie)Baldwin
The last battle of Waterloo I recall was in 1971 when B,Sqn came to UK to do a Gnry camp. It took place in the Duke of Wellington just round the corner from Waterloo station while we was waiting for our train to Swindon. Jock Campbell and my mother going pint for pint. My mother won by a pint all 4'11 & 3/4 "s of her oh yeh mother was a Campbell as well.

Re: Waterloo Anniversary

Posted: Sat Jun 20, 2015 1:07 pm
by Arnie
I can attest, as many of you can, as to the cloying, clogging,Belgian mud. That said Napoleon was right not to start the battle till midday. But he did make some fundamental errors, which proved decisive at the end of the day.

The guy, brilliant though he was, should have been topped instead of being sent to St Helena where he spent the first three years writing the history of the Napoleonic Era. This is the history, whitewashing him and his mistakes, which has come down through the years to the French people who seem to have swallowed much of the b/s lock stock and exaggeration. I suppose this is only natural, I would imagine Winston told a few porkies in his writings.

Napoleon was not the only one. Victor Hugo, great writer that he was took a little detour and some poetic licence to write about Waterloo when he was writing Les Miserables. He wrote the myth that the major part of the French cavalry were destroyed in 'the sunken lane'. A pure fictional episode which has several times been proved to be false but you will still hear the odd 'supposed' historian relate it as fact. Victor Hugo was writing his account 28 years after the battle. Anyone who has walked the battlefield, as I have, will know there is NO sunken lane in the area. Although I will temper that with the rider that the topography of the area was changed when King William had completed the Lion Monument at the spot where his son the Prince of Orange (one of Wellingtons commanders) was wounded on the day. The mound took most of the top soil in the surrounding area leaving the battlefield somewhat changed

Anyway the mistakes made by Napoleon were simple. He was not on the battlefield during the day, he allegedly was under the weather or sick, he laid down the overall strategy, but the conduct of the battle was left to his subordinates, principally Marshal Ney. Unlike Wellington, who was everywhere directing and re-arranging his defences. It is estimated that Wellington was in the saddle of his favourite horse Copenhagan for almost 13 hours on the 18 June 1815.
Many of his Marshals had fought, and lost, battles against Wellington in the Peninsula Wars but Napoleon seems to have looked down on him, usually referring to him as 'the Sepoy General' and had never fought against him
He did lose his temper when Ney, mistakenly assumed Wellingtons troop redeployment was a retreat instantly took the opportunity and led the French cavalry, without either Infantry or Artillery support, in a charge which resulted in the famous destruction of the French Cavalry.
At a crucial time in the battle when Ney asked Napoleon to engage his reserves in the battle Napoleon refused. Later when he finally allowed the use of the Old Guard it was too late.
The final fatal mistake occurred when the Old Guard did deploy they were formed up in Columns and not lines.
This meant that with a front of 39 men in each column they could only fire 39 muskets per column, whereas when Wellington made the famous shouted order " Now Maitland, Up Guards and at them" (something like that) The Guards rose up from where they had been shielded from the artillery behind a ridge in line, 120 men wide in each of two ranks and opened fire. The Old Guard were being decimated and the British flanking units, also in line, enfiladed and joined the party. When the cry "le Guarde recule" was heard the Battle of Waterloo was essentially over.

Here endeth the history lesson.

I wore a Waterloo T shirt all day Thurs. Nobody here noticed.


Re: Waterloo Anniversary

Posted: Sat Jun 20, 2015 4:34 pm
by john kerwin
:D :D :D we all know that's can't be right, everyone knows it was Richard Sharp who won that battle ?? 8) :lol: :lol:

Re: Waterloo Anniversary

Posted: Sat Jun 20, 2015 5:28 pm
by Phil(Quassie)Baldwin
And here's the proof

Re: Waterloo Anniversary

Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2015 11:16 am
by 27
France has triumphed over Great Britain in a huge re-enactment of the Battle of Waterloo which took place in the same Belgian fields where Napoleon’s army was defeated, 200 years ago.

The loss has been put down to cuts in military spending and general poor health among many re-enactors who were forced to pick up provisions from food banks on the way into battle.

Malnourished volunteers, dressed as infantry and cavalry officers, tried to recreate the battle and commemorate those who died but were unable to reach the original outcome due to equipment and rations shortages and not being able to blag kit off Americans.

Despite the Duke of Wellington’s well-rehearsed tactical manoeuvre to take the higher ground and outdo the enemy, which worked brilliantly last time around, the actor playing Napoleon shrugged his Gallic shoulders, fed his well-equipped troops with a delicious long lunch, and then completely demoralised the enemy with a display of well-gnawed chicken bones, a range of readily available soft cheeses and a triumphant display of belching.

“It was pathetic said one on-looker. The British national pride had been stripped out of them and they’d obviously given up the will to live. It was obvious too that most of the costumes had been bought from charity shops and not hired from London’s prestigious Angels’ theatrical costumiers. One of them was even got up as a Japanese sniper which I reckon he got from Poundland.”

Mop-capped English women and their red-coated husbands were already weakened from their harsh journey across the channel having smuggled themselves under the canvas flaps of trucks to avoid ferry charges. They then faced a weary night encamped behind barbed wire in Zeebrugge where they were jeered at by chip-throwing Belgian youths and forced to drink cheap wine.

A crowd of 60,000 spectators watched the battle, egging the French army on to stuff their Anglo-Saxon counterparts who simply died of shame in their thousands.

Since the defeat, plans have been announced to replace the Wellington memorial in Hyde Park with the current cabinet riding triumphantly on a herd of capitalist pigs. :lol: :lol: :lol: